This Christmas will be different......
I remember how hard the holidays were a year ago. Right before Christmas was when we decided we were going to adopt, we didn't have any clue how we were going to make everything work, and after going through a year of infertility treatments, having a child just seemed so out of reach and impossible.
Last Christmas there was an emptiness....as I spent time with my mother and with other family members and their mothers, it was kind of a deep reminder that I wanted to be a mother so badly, but I didn't know if and when this would ever even happen. Last Christmas was the hardest Christmas I have ever experienced and I am so happy to say that this Christmas will be the best Christmas of my life!
Today the emptiness and the ache is completely gone! I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and that God made it possible for us to be the parents of a beautiful baby boy who was clearly made for us! We have so much to be thankful for this year because we received the gift of life, our blessing from above!
For me, this Christmas will be different because I have learned to believe in miracles.........Have a Merry Christmas!
We did not plant you, true. But when the season is done,
When the alternate prayers
For the sun and for rain are counted,
When the pain of weeding
And the pride of watching are through,
We will hold you high.
A shining leaf
Above the thousand seeds grown wild
Not by our planting,
But by heaven. Our harvest.
Our own child.
We made it to Salt Lake City! After driving through 3 states, 15 hours, lots of bathroom breaks, and lots of phone calls, we finally made it safe and sound. Yesterday was a very intense day because while we were on our way we found out our birthmom did not get on her flight! We thought, "now what!" turn around and head toward Ohio or keep heading in the same direction and trust in God that he will take care of it.
After finding out she didn't get on the plane I had a sick feeling and my stomach churned for hours....I just wanted to break down and cry, but instead I prayed and prayed and prayed! We kept driving and about 7 hours later I called our birthmom and she said the cab was sitting outside her door to take her to the airport to catch a later flight, I felt a sense of relief come over me, but then she informed me that her child care provider was MIA and the fight was to leaving an hour from then!!! The sick churning feeling in my stomach was back!
In a panic she told me she would call me back to let me know she was going to make that fight....she never called. I called the agency and they told me that they made it very clear to her that she was supposed to call them before she left too so they could be sure to pick her up when she got to Utah....she never called them either. We continued driving west, and I kept getting a busy dial tone every time I tried calling her home (she has no cell phone). The agency called me and told me that they did not think she got on the flight because she never called them to arrange her pick up from the airport. The agency informed me that we probably should turn around and head East because there was no way we could but her on a plane any later than yesterday since the baby is due NOW.
So...I know your wanting to know what is going on now!!! Right now I am sitting in the suite, in Salt Lake City and feeling blessed....I have my wonderful husband and parents here with me...the suite is beautiful (still trying to figure out how we got such a good rate! Had to have been a God thing!) It is brand spankin new and VERY nice and comfortable...there is even a movie theater room down the hall!!!
Oh!!!and the BEST part......Our bithmom is five minutes away from us in a hospital room getting ready to be induced!!! She DID make that flight after all....GOD is GOOD!!!
There are a few things we have found out that are kind of discouraging, one of them is that we probably won't get to be with the baby for 48 hours after birth....it's going to be hard, but I will do whatever I need to do to get my baby!!! We still don't know if we will get to be in the delivery room during the delivery, our birthmom still hasn't let the agency know if she wants to meet us...so we are kind of on pins and needles...we might get to hold our baby girl today or we might not even get to see her until Saturday. At this point, as long as she is a healthy baby girl I will be the happiest Mom in the world!
We also found out that it will probably take longer for some legal things that have to take place before we take the baby out of Utah, so we might end up stuck here in Utah for over 2 weeks! It was a surprise because we had no idea, but as long as we have our baby with us it's not a big deal!
At this point my agency has not let me know what is going on other than the fact that she is in the hospital and the doctor is inducing today and everything looks great so far. There is a possibility they may call and say that she has been born, I have no idea! There is still a chance they will call and we will get to be in the delivery room too....we are trying to just keep an open mind, either way is ok!
Thank you all for your prayers and I will keep you posted! :)
It has been a while since I posted on here, but in case you didn't already know this......WE HAVE A MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A few months ago we lost a potential match (a boy) and we were re-matched with another baby the same day. In about a week we should be traveling to Utah for the delivery of our baby girl (YAY!) and we couldn't be more excited! Although we are excited, we also have alot of fears too. We are praying that the birthmom follows through with this and does not change her mind last minute. When I start worrying about this I just remind myself that God is in control and he has everything all planned out already and that we just need to trust in Him. Even though I trust in Gods plan I still know how much losing this situation would hurt, so it is very scary. There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think about that sweet baby girl, I can't wait to see her face and tell her how much I love her.
I am really close to having everything packed and ready to go, and I will post pictures of the nursery on here tomorrow. Please pray for our strength and the health of our baby girl who is soooo close to joining us. I also ask that you pray for the birthmom as she travels and for her health, she told me she is not sleeping very good because the baby is moving alot. We have felt so blessed to have such supportive and giving friends and family throughout this process and I can't wait to keep you posted on exciting things about to happen in our VERY near future!
Yes, this is the story of adoption. When going through the adoption process you hurry up to get things completed and then you wait! It's like going from one extreme to another. Now that we have our "hurrying up" completed, I am waiting and feel as though my mind is still in that hurry up gear, there is nothing left to "hurry up"....the extreme shift in gears leaves me with some anxiety.
Waiting is hard, especially knowing that we could potentially be matched with a baby due in weeks/days time. We don't know if we should be excited right now and preparing for a baby that may come any day now, or if we have more time...reality is we may not bring a baby home for many months to come, we will not know until we have an "official" match. Not knowing is frustrating.
We try to find comfort in the fact that God does have something wonderful in his plan, we just wish we could catch a glimpse of it SOON.
You may have noticed that I got REALLY behind on the 365 project..oooppss! I have been extremely busy and then Matt and I went on vacation, so it's been hard to get on and post, but I will try not to get behind again!
A quick adoption update:
The adoption is moving along! Before we left for vacation we completed our homestudy and also completed our profile for the agency! We are finally done with everything so now we wait and prepare for the baby, it is completely out of our hands! The most exciting news of everything is we might have been matched with a situation already! We don't want to get our hopes, or anyone elses hopes up because nothing is set in stone yet, but we do know that if we are matched with this situation then our baby will be due August 7th!!!! That's SOON! We will defiantly keep you updated and let you know if we do get matched with this situation...we should know soon! Please keep praying for us!
Here is just a peek of the nursery decor....and yes, we think its safe to say we are getting a girl! I went to pick out our crib bedding today and while I was in the store, feeling overwhelmed by all of the choices, I thought I heard my cousins baby Brian singing in an isle close to me, but I figured it couldn't be Brians voice because there is no way I would get that lucky to get Deannas help and advice on some things...sure enough, I turned the corner only to see Brians sweet smiling face! Deanna is a lot of help when it comes to decorating, she has great taste! WOW, all I can say is God must have known how overwhelmed I was feeling at the moment!
Days like these make me really eager for the day our little one comes into our lives! They bring so much joy! Today I helped my cousin watch her baby and a friends baby...they are both 6 mo. old and it was so much fun:)